Siiiiick

I woke up with a sore throat and then coughed up a friend. Sir Phlegmington the 9th.

He ate the baby.

Since I cant' hear whats going on when I glance over I usually make up some sort of story to go along with whats happening. Then I giggle to myself because I'm OH SO WITTY~

Why is daytime tv so horrible?

So my glasses... They work just great but my eyes are just ever so slightly too close to eachother making any adult sized frames far too big for my face. I literally have to go find some child sized frames and get my lenses put into them

And to make it all worse I have a huge mouth. Like Julia Roberts huge. Yeah.. I totally look like James Franco mixed with Julia Roberts...

Plants.

So I'm kind of a lonely guy. Where I'm living I'm not allowed to have pets, so I buy plants.

*tear*

Only.. I kill plants... I don't intend to! I look up online what kind of plant it is and what it needs and then I proceed to do what the internet tells me to do. It just is SO SAD because I love these plants SO MUCH. They are the only thing I have that I can devote my love to and then they all die.

So sad... His name is Peter... Peter Parker... He's a spider plant... 

My mother is an amazing gardener. She has always had beautiful gardens and plants and they're always so green and healthy. Looks like I have a black thumb.

That's racist.

M-m-m-monday!

Monday is here!

No hump catting/ rainbow puking/ underwear dancing today!

"What! you mislead us into thinking you were FUN! Now, Puke some rainbows!"

Oh you~ so silly. Anyways, I can kind of draw and thanks to a CERTAIN SOMEONES blog I'm feeling more like doing so.

Do any of you create things? Like drawings or painting or sculpture or architecture or ANYTHING that uses your creative abilities?

And what kind of music inspires you to go. Currently my musical muse is Muse. Because, you know.. we will be victorious!

Autumn is here! Which means I can wear layers and clothes will fit me better! I'm kind of a tiny guy at about 5 foot 9 and 120 pounds.. yeah I'm scary as hell. Once this old lady saw me coming and crossed the street.

Yeah. I'm THAT intimidating.

Look at all this room before the bottom...





Jobs jobs jobs

So I'm unemployed and the worst part of seeking employment is.. THE RESUME. Mostly because alot of jobs EXPECT you to lie on it, so when I'm being totally honest on it people will be like "Holy crap if this is the best lie he can come up with then he must SUUUUUUUUCK"

This is what I think a resume is.

Then there is the whole "sell yourself" aspect which I just hate, I'm more than willing to learn anything you need so you should just hire me.

"Well that's great tell me what skills you have that would be good for this job"

I have all of them. I'm just not too good at some of them. I'm a level 24 empath and I have staff of bonking augmented with ice.

... Honestly. Hire me and if you like how I do things then keep me, if you don't then we can go our separate ways. My feelings wont be hurt, I promise.. I understand that training takes time out of the company and blah blah blah... but I'm pretty sure that guy over there on the cash register is high... and he just split a 20 with two 10's and a 5.... he's also a chupacabra.

Tell me of your strange job stories! Be it during work or the strangest interview! I love reading your comments



I'm not this enthusiastic in real life it's just that it's so much eaiser to be open on the internet to complete strangers. I'm really quite shy. I should fix that.